Thursday, April 30, 2009

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Pride and Prejudice

"Confession. I have read Pride and Prejudice two hundred times. I get lost in the language, words like "thither, mischance, felicity." I'm always in agony over whether Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are really going to get together. Ah! Read it. I know you'll love it!"
Kathleen Kelly, You've Got Mail

I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and I'm in love. In love with it all - Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet, the grandeur, the romance, the misunderstandings and missed opportunities.

I'm not sure what persuaded me to read Pride and Prejudice, although it does qualify for my New Year's Resolutions, as it is one of those books I should have read in high school. And I have to agree with Kathleen Kelly - I, too, got lost in the language, though sometimes, more lost in the whole "what the heck are they talking about," as compared to being lost in the magic of it.

Seriously - I had to google more than one word along the way. And for the record, "felicity" is not just a Keri Russell TV show from the 90's, but is also "the state of being happy, esp. in a high degree; bliss."

There were so many things I loved about it - the charm, the agony, the wit. I was especially surprised by the wit. Two examples, both from Mr. Bennet, who couldn't be bothered with the raising of his girls. Upon Lizzy's refusal to marry Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet tries to get Mr. Bennet to intercede and convince Lizzy to say yes (chapter 20):

"Come here, child," cried her father as she appeared. "I have sent for you on an affair of importance. I understand that Mr. Collins has made you an offer of marriage. Is that true?"

Elizabeth replied that it was.

"Very well -- and this offer of marriage you have refused?"

"I have, Sir."

"Very well. We now come to the point. Your mother insists upon your accept it. Is not it so, Mrs. Bennet?"

"Yes, or I will never see her again."

"An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. --Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do."

And again, wit from Mr. Bennet to Mrs. Bennet, as she laments the fact that Mr. Collins and wife (Charlotte) are to the inherit the family estate because of entail (to limit the passage of a landed estate to a specified line of heirs, so that it cannot be alienated, devised, or bequeathed - another one I had to look up) upon Mr. Bennet's passing (chapter 23):

"Indeed, Mr. Bennet,'' said she, "it is very hard to think that Charlotte Lucas should ever be mistress of this house, that I should be forced to make way for her, and live to see her take my place in it!''

"My dear, do not give way to such gloomy thoughts. Let us hope for better things. Let us flatter ourselves that I may be the survivor.''

As all great literature has at one point or another, this novel has inspired countless movies and books. Long before I read the book, one of my favorite movies was Bridget Jones' Diary, and one of my favorite male heroes was, of course, Mark Darcy. I knew that the character of Mark Darcy was inspired by Colin Firth's portrayal of Mr. Darcy in the BBC version of P&P. I had no idea that the rest of the book was a modernized version of Jane Austen's classic.

Let's take a moment to compare, shall we?

Elizabeth has an instant disliking to Mr. Darcy when first they meet. Bridget also has sour feelings for Mark Darcy.

Elizabeth is courted by Mr. Wickham, who has a tragic story of how Mr. Darcy did him wrong. Daniel Cleaver, too, has a tragic story of how Mark Darcy did him wrong, which, as with Elizabeth, feeds Bridget's dislike of Mark Darcy. In both cases, M. Darcy was the victim, not the perpetrator.

Elizabeth's mother is a rather shallow creature, interested only in marrying off her daughters to men of fame and fortune. Bridget's mother, though less overt in her actions, has the same desires.

Elizabeth is easily discarded by Mr. Wickham, as Bridget is easily discarded by Daniel.

Mr. Darcy, somewhat anonymously, rescues Elizabeth's family from social death when her little sister runs off with Mr. Wickham without the protection of marriage.

While the situation is different, Mark Darcy does, somewhat anonymously, come to Bridget's rescue. In the original book, the rescue is of Bridget's mother, who gets herself into somewhat of a pickle involving illegal drugs in a foreign land. This happened in the second movie, not to her mother but to Bridget herself.

And of course, Mr. Darcy loves Elizabeth as Mark Darcy loves Bridget - Just the way she is.

If only I could find a M. Darcy...

Friday, April 17, 2009

Everyone Should Have a Moment Like This...

I've heard the hype, read the headlines...I've seen mention of this on the Internet for a couple of days. And finally, today, I took a moment to watch as 47 year old unemployed, "Never Been Kissed" Susan Boyle blew the world away.



I got goosebumps.

I got tears in my eyes.

I don't know her, but the lack of acquaintance meant nothing. As I watched her on stage, I was so proud of her, so happy for her.

And I think everyone should get a moment like this. A moment all their own. A moment to defy expectations. A standing ovation. Accolades and praise.

To be in that moment and realize you've done it.

If only for a moment, you lived your dream.

Check it out here.

Seriously.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Quarterly Update


So...let's talk New Year's Resolutions. I make them every year. I think about them for months in advance, ponder them, rate them and this year, even wrote them down.

And then, on like January 3rd, I'm like...

"What's a New Year's resolution? That's a novel concept...I should make one of those NEXT year."

And thats the end of that.

This year, I decided that I'd try to review them regularly - you know, just to see how things are going.

So - How did I do the first quarter of the year?

1. Lose Weight - And this one is in progress. So far, since my birthday...14 pounds. Not too bad, considering I didn't even give it a half-a$$ effort until like 4 weeks ago. So YEA for pounds lost. However...it's still only a half-a$$ effort - MUCH room for improvement.

2. Expand my mind by reading five books I should have read in high school - Still on my list, but not complete yet. Actually...not really even started yet. Oops. Just like high school - it's all about procrastination. :)

3. Expand my mind with American History - Yeah...ummm...see point number 2 above. Status here is pretty much the same.

4. Read the Old Testament - Well, I started. And of all the resolutions I've failed so far with this year, this one was the heaviest on me. But it's not too late - I can still save this one. Check back on the second quarter update and see if there's been any progress here.

5. Take pictures - Well, considering that I didn't actually make this very specific and my only comparison to "more" was "more than the two dozen pictures" from the last five years, I have to call this a success. Even if, like, a hundred of the "more" pictures were of my dog. Hey, it's not my fault he's so dang cute!

6. Finances, Pay off some debt - Well...I would have said I was making progress on this one until I drove my car into the back of someone elses...Dag-nabbit.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

It Speaks to Me

He'd had a mistress.

He'd always had a mistress.

She'd known this when she met him. When she'd fallen in lust and then love with him.

It had never been a secret between them.

And her desire for him was so strong, so true, that she thought she could handle it.

Live with it.

Accept it.

But in the back of her mind, in the dark corners of the unconsciousness, from the parts of her mind that seemed oblivious to conscious control, the whispers came.

He'll choose his mistress over you. Time and time again.

His mistress calls to him. Even from a distance, he hears the call. And he'll go.

And one day, the mistress will win.

And now, he was gone. Taken. A victim of that siren call.

So today, as she mourns, she faces the mistress for the first time. Face to face.

It's a formal affair, as well it should be.

White linen, flowers, music and wine.

And for today, she'll stare across the table at the mistress, and together, mourn his loss.

He was a sailor. And although through the years, his rank and title had changed, a sailor he would always be.

And his mistress, the sea.



** Just in case you're wondering what I'm rambling about now...

I was thinking today about art, and why I so love Jack Vettriano's work. And I decided today that it is because each painting is a story. The titles of his paintings leave me craving the story behind them. And so, today, I decided that I would write the story (short as it may be). Inspired by Jack Vettriano's Eulogy for a Dead Admiral.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Natural Highs

Today I received an email today of "43 Natural Highs." So far in this life, I haven't experienced them all. But reading the ones I have experienced brought such warm fuzzies that I decided it might be a list worth saving, if for no other reason than as a reminder to cherish the simple joys of life.

And...hopefully...with the ones I haven't experienced? Something to look forward to...

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. - Mom, Brenda and I used to do this - a lot. Not sure when that changed, but I miss those days.

3. A hot shower. - Especially when I've just left my cozy, toasty bed in my chilly bedroom. Stepping under the stream of hot water is pure bliss...

4. No lines at the supermarket. - Okay, I guess. Probably wouldn't have made the top of my list.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail. - Especially when you're not expecting it (and obviously not related to bills). But even when I am expecting it - as in something I've ordered. Still eagerly check the mail box everyday in anticipation.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road. - Especially if you can roll down the winds, pop open the sunroof.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio. - I really love it when it's the perfect song for my mood. Or a song that reminds of a loved one.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. - Well, I used to love this. Before I moved to Denver. No one told me this was a high desert! Who would have ever thought that I would miss rain?

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer. - Or bed sheets - right before going to bed.

11. Milkshake (any flavor). - Maybe not so much strawberry. But definitely chocolate or vanilla.

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling. - With your best friend.

14. The beach. - Sun, sand, the pounding of the waves and a good book.

15. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter. - The best!

16. Laughing at yourself. - Even better if it's in the company of true friends.

17. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you

18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours. - Connecting with long lost friends like you saw them just yesterday. Years disappear and you remember why you love them.

19. Running through sprinklers. - Accompanied by the smells of summer - hose water and wet grass baking in the sun.

20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all. - Laughing just because life it great and it feels so good to be alive. If only for this moment...

21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

22. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS - Because it strengthens the connection, plays into your past.

23. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you. - An overheard conversation that I hold close to my heart...

24. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. - Assuming you can get back to sleep.

25. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

26. Making new friends or spending time with old ones. - Exploring, learning, growing together...

27. Playing with a new puppy. - Dallas!

28. Having someone play with your hair. - Yes please.

29. Sweet dreams. - Those that linger with you all day...

30. Hot chocolate. - On a cold day.

31. Road trips with friends. - On the road again...I just can't wait to get on the road again...

32. Swinging on swings. - Feeling the rush of the air as you defy gravity

33. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

34. Making chocolate chip cookies. - and having people to share them with.

35. Having your friends send you homemade cookies. - Mmmmm...Monster cookies....

36. Holding hands with someone you care about. - When Holden or Kaylee reach for my hand, I know it's because I'm important to them.

37. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

38. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. - I love finding that perfect gift. I eagerly anticipate the moment I get to share

39. Watching the sunrise.

40. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

41. Knowing that somebody misses you.

42. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

43. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

All Creatures Great and Small...except...


So this morning, I had the pleasure of showering with one eye open.

See, usually when I shower, I close my eyes for things like rinsing shampoo/conditioner, or using my face scrub. But today, I showered with one eye open.

And that would be because when I picked up my conditioner bottle, a spider scampered out from under and huddled in the corner of the ledge of the tub. Ugh...

I'm not a big fan of killing anything. I don't find pleasure on lighting ants on fire with magnifying glass, or pulling the light out of a lightning bug and using is as jewelry. I spend way too much time trying to coax a trapped fly out the door and with bees, I usually resort to the "empty glass to trap a bee" trick - you know, where you trap a bee in a glass, then carefully slide a paper plate (usually) under the edge of the glass, then releasing the bee back out in the wild.

I figure - All creatures great and small.

Except spiders. And centipedes. But this morning, it was a spider.

Usually when I see a spider, my first instinct is to find someone else to kill it. Of course, there's never a spider around when there's someone else available to squash it. In that case, there are several scenarios:

a) Get out the vacuum cleaner and suck it up (of course, then I have to have someone change the bag for me, you know, just in case the spider survives the traumatic trip through the vacuum cleaner rollers

b) Step on it, but only if I'm wearing shoes with like 4 inch soles. Then, suck up the poor, tangled puddle of spider remaining with the aforementioned vacuum

c) If all else fails, take a (gigantic) wad of paper towel, toilet paper, or if all else is unavailable, Kleenex, and squash the dang thing.

This usually involves:
- a lot of prep time
- some emotional build up
- a self-motivating speech
- more emotional build up
- a reminder that I am in fact 32 years old and should be able to handle this
- a little self-loathing over the fact that I'm 32 and single, with no kids before quickly reminding myself that this isn't the time for a pity party
- a moment when I think it would just be easier to move to a different house
- and finally...the squash.

Which is then followed by:
* balling up the tissue as soon as possible so I don't have to look at anything
* a race to the trash can, arm completely outstretched
* deposit in trash can (I could just flush it down the toilet, but as I said before...Gigantic wad of paper towel/toilet paper)
* my "Ewwww" dance where I thrash all my limbs about to remove any remaining spider cooties that may have escaped the gigantic wad of paper towel

If the spider has managed to find a resting place I can't reach (such as the vaulted ceiling in my bedroom), then I'm tormented all night with thoughts of where the spider might be and at what point he might touch me. Please don't bring up the statistic about how many spiders/bugs we swallow a year...just...don't.

My old solution to this problem was to sleep with the covers over my head. That no longer works because my dog insist on unburying me. I know he thinks he's doing me a favor, but really...he's not.

This morning, though, I got lucky. After my shower, I was able to aim the shower head at the spider and then wash him down the drain. No "thrashing about to remove spider cooties" required.

Course, now I'll lie in bed tonight, tormented with the thought that he had a lot of friends and family and they're coming for me...