The Marriage Rules

Today the question of gay marriage took it's first step towards the U.S. Supreme Court in what will one day be a landmark decision.

In case you're wondering, I'm in favor of gay marriage. I'm in favor of two consenting adults entering into a legally binding contract - which is what marriage is in the eyes of the law. I believe that the biggest threat we face today to the separation of church and state is NOT prayer in school but opposition to gay marriage. I have yet to hear a valid argument against gay marriage that doesn't rely on the Bible.

To be more specific, the old testament of the Bible, where people quite often rely on the story of Sodom and Gomorrah for their opposition to gay marriage while forgetting that the "hero" of that story offered his virgin daughters to a gang of men looking to violate human flesh. The hero whose daughters eventually got him drunk and had relations with him to get pregnant. Yes...that man. Obviously the man we should hold up as a moral compass, she said sarcastically.

But I digress. I have yet to hear a valid argument against gay marriage that doesn't rely on the Bible. As a matter of fact, I have yet to hear a valid argument.

Today I read that the defendants of this lawsuit destined for the Supreme Court have this argument: Marriage is for the proper rearing of children. That every child deserves a father (male) and a mother (female). That allowing gay marriage would violate this basic human right.

So...I could go on and on about the proper rearing of children, and how you can actually do it with one parent (male or female) or two parents (male-male, female-female, or male-female), or possibly even properly rear your children with three males (father-uncle-and strange friend that just hangs out - thank you Full House). And Hilary Clinton seems to think it takes a village. But instead, I'm going to attack the argument that marriage is SOLELY for the rearing of children, as to be presented by the defense.

If that's the case, I'd like to suggest a few more laws, while we're outlawing gay marriage.

1. If you have children under the age of 18, divorce is illegal.

2. If you are beyond child-bearing years, you may not marry.

3. If you are barren, sterile or voluntary choose to not have children, you may not marry.

4. If you are not pregnant or have not delivered a child within 18 months of your marriage, the marriage is null and void.

5. If you deliver a baby out of wedlock, you may not leave the hospital without providing a legal and proper marriage certificate.

6. If your spouse dies, you have 72 hours to replace your spouse. In cases where you can not replace your spouse, the state will pick one for you.

After all...Marriage is all for the children.